Discography

THE WINKER’S ALBUM (misprint)

Originally released on Beggars Banquet – BOPA 1
No longer available (but read on…)

My Name Is Ivor Biggun (CD only)
The Winkers Song (Misprint)
Sing a Mucky Song
No! No! No!
Hello My Baby
I Wish I Was
I’m Shy
Graffiti Night Fever
I’ve Parted (Misprint)
Cucumber Number
Great Grandad John
Underground Music
My Brother’s Got Files (Misprint)
The Winkers Paradise (Misprint)
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
The Charabanc Trip (humorous monologue)

MORE FILTH! DIRT CHEAP…

Originally released on Dead Badger Records – BOPA 3
No longer available (but read on…)

Sales pitch…So! Why should you lash out your hard-earned cash on this grotty Ivor Biggun album when you could spend it on women, drink, filthy magazines, woodbines, or perhaps even foolishly? Why? Because it’s value for money, that’s why!

For the price of a couple of pairs of wooly socks you could get 50 minutes of the kind of depravity that makes Vlad the Impaler seem like Donny Osmond! – Disgustin’ stuff like “The Cockerel Song”, which some people say isn’t about chickens. The “Shirt Collar Song” adapted from “Flaccido del Plonquero” by Los Quintettos Bunchawhankas – Pierre Foofe letting rip! – Two portions of reggae (one Bosanquet and one Perrin) – and the Phil ExSpectorant lavatory wall-of-sound (Richard III).

Now! That’s better than a pair of wooly socks…huh?? Still not convinced?? Well… try “Banking Your Blues Away” (misprint) which features Ivor gargling with Tizer… or “I Have A Dog” which is recorded in Ambiphonic 360º Surround Sound, giving the listener on stereo headphones the aural illusion that he is ENTIRELY SURROUNDED BY RED-NOSED BURGLARS!! There’s even a completely clean song about bears, but we hope this won’t spoil your enjoyment too much. And there’s the Filthy Farmer… AND some singing mice. AND a vulgar poem…

What’s more… you can chop the album up and skilfully use it, and the inner and outer sleeves, to construct a pair of not-insubstantial GALOSHES! But, can you play wooly socks on your stereo?? Of course not! The choice is obvious!! Buy this record! BUY THIS RECORD!!!

The Cockerel Song
My Shirt Collar (It Won’t Go Stiff)
Southern Breeze
a) The Burglar’s Holler b) Gums And Plums
John Thomas Allcock
I Have A Dog His Name Is Rover
My Brother’s Magazine
Richard The Third (He’s In The Business Now)
Walking Your Blues Away (Misprint)
Are “Mice” Electric?
I Can Be The Hot-Dog And You Can Be The Bun
I Wanna Be A Bear,
Ah Woke Up Dis Moanin’ (parts 1 and 2)
Part 1 Terrific Teddy Sings The Blues
Part 2 Ah Feel So Bad
The Filthy Farmer (A Song Of The Soil)
The Other Educated Monkey (humourous monologue)

PARTNERS IN GRIME

Originally released on Dead Badger Records – BEGA 79
No longer available (but read on…)

(Let’s All) Hide the Sausage
(Nobody does it like) The Ukelele Man
Chantilly Lace
Halfway Up Virginia
The Puffy Song
Probing Andromeda
The Majorca Song
Sixty Minute Man
Toolbag Ted From Birkenhead
Gums and Plums (live)
John Thomas Allcock (live)
Where did the Lead in my Pencil Go?
Cue for a Song
I’ve got a Monster

THE FRUITY BITS OF IVOR BIGGUN

A compilation of favourites from the first three deleted albums (and some rarities)

No longer available

The Winker’s Song (mono version)
Bras on 45
Hide The Sausage(Rap version)
I Have A Dog His Name Is Rover
Halfway Up Virginia
The Pu**y Song
(Nobody Does It Like) The Ukelele Man
The Cockerel Song
I’ve Parted (misprint)
The Winker’s Rock ‘N’ Roll (misprint)
Are “Mice” Electric?
Hello My Baby
Winking Your Blues Away (misprint)
I’ve Got A Monster
The Majorca Song
The Charabanc Trip

HANDLING SWOLLEN GOODS

Ivor’s first album in 18 years (Axl Rose eat your dick off! – we all know Ivor takes longer)

No longer available

The Winking Caveman (Misprint)
Dorothy Please Trim Your Hinge (Misprint)
The Premature Ejaculation Waltz
Down By The Riverside
The Yodelling Winker (Misprint)
All Of These Things Are Soul
Ukulele Lady
Two Thirds Of Four Fifths
The Son Of John Thomas Allcock
My Baby Loves My Yorkshire Pudding
Bonkola (featuring The Mighty JUDGE DREAD)
You Can’t Have A Shag With A Snowman
All I Want For Christmas (Is A Great Big Dong)
The Sailors In The Gents (Humorous Monologue)

bonus… Live in Croydon

I Feel Like Winking (Misprint)
Ivor Biggun Is My Name
Cats On The Rooftops
I’m Looking Over A Four-Leaf Clover
The Filthy Limerick Mambo
I Have A Dog His Name Is Rover
The Winker’s Song (Misprint) (Rotten version)

MORE FRUITY BITS – The Rest Of IVOR BIGGUN

Every one of those Biggun classics from the first three albums that wasn’t re-issued on ‘Fruity Bits’ plus Single tracks and other rareties. The No.1 collectors’ wet dream after the copy of The Winker’s Song 7″ genuinely and personally signed by Elvis “Aww man, this has got to be my new musical direction – It’s wicked! love Elvis”.

Double CD available on Stiff Weapon – TOSSA 3CD

CD 1

Ivor Biggun Is My Name
The Winkers Song (misprint) – stereo
Sing A Mucky Song
No! No! No!
I Wish I Was
I’m Shy
Graffiti Night Fever
Cucumber Number
Great Grandad John
Underground Music
My Brother’s Got Files (misprint)
The Winkers Paradise (misprint)
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
The Winker’s Rock ‘N’ Roll (misprint) (original version)
I Lift Up My Finger(And I Say Tweet-Tweet)
Send For Dr.Clap
Hide The Sausage (original version)
Gums And Plums (live)
John Thomas Allcock (live)
Bras On 45 (Dirty Gertie Version)
Jeremy Is Innocent
Johnny G fan Club Song

CD 2

My Shirt Collar (It Won’t Go Stiff)
Southern Breeze
A) The Burglars Holler  B) Gums And Plums
John Thomas Allcock
My Brothers Magazine
Richard The Third
I Can Be The Hot Dog, And You Can Be The Bun
I Wanna Be A Bear
Ah Woke Up Dis Moanin’
The Filthy Farmer (A Song Of The Soil)
The Other Educated Monkey (Humourous Monologue)
Chantilly Lace
Probing Andromeda
The Majorca Song (Just-About-Broadcastable-Version)
Sixty Minute Man
Toolbag Ted From Birkenhead
Where Did The Lead In My Pencil Go
Cue For A Song
Send For Dr. Clap (live)
The Winker’s Rock ‘N’ Roll (live)

SINGLES / E.P.’s

The Winker’s Song (misprint)

Reader’s Wives

Beggars Banquet – BOP 1

This notorious first single by Ivor Biggun and the Red-Nosed Burglars was released on 2nd September 1978 on a special blue Beggars Banquet label and was immediately banned by the BBC as being ‘sexually explicit’. Early editions came in plain bags, because the ladies in the first pressing plant refused to handle sleeve-designer Dave Brett’s revolting artwork. After a few weeks, it appeared on the picture sleeves we know and love. It is the same ukelele-pronged pervert you see on the sleeve of The Winker’s Album.

It spent 12 weeks in the charts and reached its highest position at number 19, 20, 21 or 22 (depending whose Charts you read), and was Number One on the Indie/Punk Charts for several weeks, being the first big independent hit (misprint) for Beggars Banquet Records. It featured in an episode of ‘Men Behaving Badly’ (series 4, episode 3) when Gary and Tony, having lost their girlfiends, felt a song coming on. The ‘B’ side is completely unavailable elsewhere, because Ivor thinks it’s crap (and he’s right!).

Hello My Baby
I’ve Parted (Misprint)

Beggars Banquet – BOP 2

This single featured two tracks from The Winker’s Album, on the blue Beggars Banquet label. Another Dave Brett sleeve adorned this long deleted flatulence festival

Jeremy Is Innocent
I’m Jolly Mad
Woof Woof, Bang

Beggars Banquet – BOP 4

A three track single, spoofing the Jeremy Thorpe scandal, where a Liberal MP was tainted by accusations of homosexuality. It brought down the party who then merged to form the Liberal-Democrats. However, ‘Plus ça change, plus c’est la méme chose’ as Jean-Paul S. muttered philosophically, or ‘Old leotards don’t change their spots’ (attributed to Jane Fonda). This was released on the blue Beggars Banquet label by Rex Barker and the Ricochets, a pseudonym for Ivor and Terrific Teddy. The ‘B’ sides really aren’t worth re-issuing so we haven’t.

It has a picture sleeve (drawn by Ivor himself) of a cartoon Ivor holding a shotgun with a bone hanging from the end on a string. The dog is standing alert and smiling and eager, salivating at the bone, while the shotgun barrel almost touches its little black nose. Everybody say “aaah!”

The W*nkers Rock ‘n’ Roll E.P
The W*nkers Rock ‘n’ Roll (original version)
I Lift Up My Finger (And I Say Tweet-Tweet)
Send For Dr Clap (A Sailors Love Song)
Hide The Sausage (original version)

Beggars Banquet – BOP 5

A four song EP with early versions of some Biggun favourites. Now available in it’s entirety on the More Fruity Bits CD

Bras On 45
Are Mice Electric
Richard The Third

Dead Badger Records – BOP 6 – 7″ single

Bras On 45 (Dirty Gertie Version)
Bras On 45

Dead Badger Records – BOP 6T – 12″ single

Bra’s On 45 was a spoof on the Stars-on-45 craze. There was a just-about-broadcastable ‘Family’ version of Bras On 45 on the 7″ single (which was a favourite on the Dr. Demento show in the USA) and the 12″ Disco Single version (BOP 6 T) had the 7″ version on one side, and an extended ‘Dirty Gertie’ version on the other.

Jobsworth
Great Grandad John

BBC Records – RESL 121

This 7″ single features the brilliant Jeremy Taylor on the A side, and Ivor on the B side singing a different version of a song from The Winker’s Album. It sold twenty seven copies, about the same number as JEREMY IS INNOCENT, making these two singles Ivor’s rarest recordings (the others sold 53).

The Majorca Song (Just-about-broadcastable version)
The Majorca Song (Filthy version)

Dead Badger records – IVOR 1

The Majorca Song (Great-Big-Filthy-Disco-Version)
The Majorca Song (Just-about-broadcastable version)
The Majorca Song (Filthy version)

Dead Badger records – IVOR 1T

This single came in a nice brown-paper vomit-bag. Due to a factory cock-up, most copies had the A and B side labels reversed, so some (un)lucky radio DeeJays found themselves broadcasting the filthy version by mistake. It crawled into the uk charts at about number 50 and is still used to drive people out of Majorcan clubs at closing time. There was a 12″ version which contained the two 7″ versions plus a very expensive, utterly crap disco remix that Ivor had sod all to do with.

UNRECORDED SONGS / EXTRA LYRICS
Get Your Tits Out For The Lads
Pinball Wizard
Where Do You Go To My Lovely?

and a set list from a Biggun / Dread show…

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