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THE
FRUITY BITS OF IVOR BIGGUN
Amaze your friends! The CD has a choice of 4 covers! Just buy 4 copies then
refold the sleeve to make it look like you have 4 different CD’s (and make
Ivor rich in the process)
Suspend any ideas of taste, consume an excessive amount of alcohol in the
company of total strangers and you’re ready to extoll the virtues of Biggun
– totally juvenile, purile, vulgar, coarse lavatorial smut, embracing the
lowest possible taste and humour – and that’s just a description of Austin
Powers!
1. THE W*NKERS SONG. (with The Red-Nosed Burglars). The original MONO version
of Ivor’s first single-handed single. A hit in 1978, and still used for
emptying Ibiza clubs at closing time.
2. BRAS ON 45. (with the D. Kups) A song about a lady with bloomin’ great,
huge, enormous, immense, colossal, massive breasts. For some reason or other,
it’s quite popular in America, where the legendary "Dr Demento"
features it on his radio show.
3. HIDE THE SAUSAGE(New Rap Version). (with Ivor’s Jivers). Here’s Ivor’s
sausage, with a large new bit inserted into the middle, especially for your
enjoyment. Deservedly unreleased until this album.
4. I HAVE A DOG HIS NAME IS ROVER. (with the Red- Nosed Burglars) This used
to be a short traditional song, but Ivor has.. er… extended it, so it’s
now something long and rude that Rugger-Buggers can entertain one another
with in the showers.
5. HALFWAY UP VIRGINIA. (With Wellington Ramsbottom IV, and The Cowherds
Of The County). Hear Ivor put the "tree" into Country music. It
could’ve been worse, I suppose.
6. THE PUSSY SONG. (With Claude Furniture and the Litter Kickers). A song
in which Ivor imitates a cat. "The most difficult part" he confides
"was licking my arse during the banjo solo."
7. (Nobody Does It Like) THE UKELELE MAN. (with the Red-Nosed Burglars,
The Friday night crowd at "The Swan" Fulham, and The Twickenham
Grasshoppers Rugby Team.) Sorry folks, this is a clean one.
8. THE COCKEREL SONG. (with the Red-Nosed Burglars) There is a club ("Rumours"
in Blackpool) where they regularly play this record and a naked man runs
along the bar, inadequately concealing his nodger with a rubber chicken.
Beat that, Bruce Springsteen!
9. I’VE PARTED(misprint). (with The Red-Nosed Burglars) Ivor pumped up the
volume on this, his second single. Later, he was almost arrested on a trumped
up charge.
10. THE W*NKER’S ROCK AND ROLL(New Remix Version). An old favourite, organically
grown (well…hand-raised) and digitally manipulated so at last you can
hear the words. Understandably unreleased until this album.
11. ARE ‘MICE’ ELECTRIC? (with Uncle Hans Von Trapp and The Mice-tersingers).
Rude rodents and swearing.
12. HELLO MY BABY. (with Amelia Blowhard) Amazingly, this got played several
times on BBC Radio. Then somebody turned it over, discovered that the "A"
side was a song about farting, and it never apppeared again!
13. W*NKING YOUR BLUES AWAY. (with the Red-Nosed Burglars) Ukelele fans
will appreciate Ivor’s phenomenal right-hand technique. "It comes from
years of practice, shaking ketchup bottles" he claims. Oh yeah? Pull
the other one.
14. I’VE GOT A MONSTER. (with Ivor’s Jivers) Featuring two very fine gentlemen.
The late great Screaming Lord Sutch (as Dracula) and the irreplaceable Judge
Dread (as The Monster). Also, lend an ear’ole to King Kurt’s Dr. Smegma
(a Werewolf), Amelia Blowhard, and a zonking guitar solo from Fearless Phil.
15. THE MAJORCA SONG. (Filthy Version) (with Ivor’s Jivers and Norma Lee
Soba). Never mind the Balearics, here’s Ivor tromping about, surrounded
by nude Germans.
16. THE CHARABANC TRIP. (Humorous Monolgue). Ivor, putting on Ayres, recites
a perverse verse. Pianist Robin Langridge remembers "I’m not easily
moved, but during this performance, I very nearly went." |
